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Being Okay with Decisions We Make Even If It’s Not Your First Choice

A wise philosopher once wrote, “you can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.” That philosopher was Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones. Why do I bring mention this Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame-inducted band in a Philanthropy and Civil Society blog post? Because sometimes you don’t always get your first choices but a lot of (proverbial and literal) good will come out of it. Maybe the best way to “do good well” is to understand why the majority of the class decided on the top five organizations and discover what moral commonality the class shares.

When we decided via Google Form on what our top five organizations that we would devote the rest of the semester’s decision on, I was slightly disappointed that only one of the five organizations I voted for was on our finalist list. It’s not that I don’t think the other four organizations have merit but I was just hoping to see my voice be represented in the other organizations we chose.

For a class of around 30 students, I think it’s incredible we were even able to narrow down the list of 84 organizations to five: it’s not an easy feat. We all came into this class with our passions and talents, usually trying to bring a lot of that into the decision-making process to influence our fellow classmates and to bring some help to an organization who needs it. I am a self-proclaimed art nerd (anything from theater to music to visuals, you name it). We categorized our organizations and I was hoping to be able to finance some arts organizations like the LUMA Festival or a the SPARE theater company through this class. 

In spite of these ties to arts organizations, in our original groups, I couldn’t even make a strong enough argument as to why Jablon Studios needed money more than the American Civic Association. The two organizations serve very different purposes which doesn’t devalue either one of them. If our class goal is to improve the Binghamton community, a criteria that has to be of utmost importance is the organization’s influence on the area and the people. 

My “head” had to override my “heart” in this case. My heart told me to follow through with the organizations that represent who I am but I am not the only one giving out a grant of $10,000 for a number of (very good, very valid) reasons. I know there are more similarities among the class who can connect on the head. We learn in college to make logical decisions: have the greatest impact on the most amount of people, the effect of philanthropy, utilitarianism, the trolley problem, effective altruism, etc... Applying the facts established in the Broome County Needs Assessment to the impact our philanthropy could have, it makes sense the five organizations that we ended up with. And to confirm that we made good choices, the graduate class selected three of the same five organizations.

My advice to you if you feel a similar way to how I did is to do even more research about the five finalist organizations. Reread their mission statements, look at the numbers and success rates, research the volunteers and those who have been affected by the organization, and try to envision yourself in need of assistance from one of these organizations. I promise that even though our top organization isn’t your top choice, they’ll benefit so much more than we could’ve even imagine. So instead of being all, “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” be more like “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

If you are really unhappy with the five organizations we chose after more research, you can still help the organizations you care about! This class also presents all of the students with the unique opportunity to have 84 organizations pitch to us why they need help. Philanthropy for me at this moment doesn’t look like donating $10,000 but I now know what the University community needs that align with my passions. Philanthropy is attending community events, offering to volunteer at organizations, and encouraging others to donate or volunteer. Hands on support can be a massive help to these organizations and sometimes $10,000 is too much for them to handle. Use the skills we’ve learned in this class to improve the organizations you really care about.

Learning more about these five finalist organizations has changed my thoughts about them. Hannah’s awesome charity pitch (and low-key rap) on Truth Pharm and the opioid epidemic was eye opening. Speaking with students with experiences of volunteering with their Meals on Wheels programs at home is influential. I’m positive that site visits will build a personal connection with the people of these organizations.

I’m really excited to talk about the impact that we can have on the community with this grant. There’s a lot of good that can happen because of our class and that’s really special, regardless if the organizations weren't your first choice. At the end, they will be your first choice.

Comments

  1. I understand the shock you felt when we were showed the 5 finalists, only one of the ones I voted for made it onto the list as well. I thought that my choices had mostly been what the rest of the class was leaning toward but I was wrong. But I agree that just because you don't get what you want, doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Listening to why some of my classmates chose the ones they voted for made me reconsider my choices and more satisfied with our list of finalists than I initially was. I think it's just most important to be willing to listen to why other organizations might have been the better option, even if you originally ruled them out.

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  2. Hey Isabel!

    I love how personal you made this blog post in the sense that I was immediately able to connect with what you are saying and read it in your voice! I found your post incredibly interesting to read as you followed through with your self-proclaimed art lover by really showing it in your writing. I was also slightly disappointed in class because I was worried that our choices were not diverse enough. But your reasoning through why any organization can become a top choice makes a lot of sense to me. You are right, "You Can't Always Get What You Want".

    That being said, I look forward to learning more about these organizations, because again, you are right. Though I was initially turned off by Truth Pharm, I am so excited to visit the organization. This site visit can only make me more passionate and understanding - maybe I will come to a better understanding of their work and how exactly they are different from other organizations. Something that I truly value in this course, like Hana mentioned in her comment above, is the chance we as students get to hear other people out and to better understand where someone is coming from when in discussion.

    Additionally, I appreciate the section where you mention what Philanthropy is to you at this moment in time. I hope that someday it can be the donation of large funds, but I agree with you. At this point in time, my philanthropic identity has been questioned by this course, but not completely altered per say. I hope to use your practical advise of "use the skills we’ve learned in this class to improve the organizations you really care about". At the end of the day, whether my top choices receive funding, whether I will ever have that amount of money tangibly, what matters most is how I change the world with the skills I have and continue to grow!

    Thank you for using your blog post to talk about this!!

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  3. I appreciate your blog post Isabel, because the lessons we can take from it apply to every aspect of our lives, not just philanthropy and this class. I voted for 3 out of the 5 finalist organizations, so while I'm not in exactly the same position as you, the American Civic Association and Truth Pharm did not receive my vote (even though I liked these organizations). Thus, I felt slightly disappointed as well, but as you mentioned, after hearing Hannah's charity pitch for Truth Pharm, I felt very glad that our class chose it as one of the finalists.

    Before taking this class, I didn't think about and participate in philanthropy as much as I now think I should. This class has really opened my mind about the complex world of philanthropy, the challenges involved, but also the immense benefits from participating in philanthropy. As such, it only made sense to me that I keep an open mind about the finalist organizations I didn't vote for given that the spirit of our class is one of open dialogue and debate. For example, as we debated effective altruism last class, I found my support for it decreasing in real time as class went on. I anticipate that after the site visits, my confidence in our finalist selections will only increase, because all of them do incredible work.

    Moving beyond our class, the idea of keeping an open mind to new ideas and perspectives resonates with me as a freshman who (admittedly) struggled initially in transitioning to college life. At the beginning of last semester, there were times when I felt unsure about my future here at Binghamton. However, as the semester progressed, I began to embrace college life, and enjoyed meeting so many new people from diverse backgrounds and with diverse interests. Therefore, your blog post resonated with me in a personal way. Thanks!

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  4. It’s hard to not get what you want sometimes, but I think you make an excellent point in showcasing that your passion for a charity does not have to end once it is no longer considered for the grants. While the marquee part for this course is the grant project, the overall purpose is to help all of us as individuals create our own theories and value systems surrounding philanthropy. I think students should take this as a special opportunity to learn about organizations that align with their interest and try to figure out how to get involved with them from there.

    As someone who has worked closely with one of these charities for an extended period of time, I think your piece especially resonates with me. The process becomes more personal. I think it is important for myself and other classmates who work with the selected charities to remind ourselves that these decision do not discredit the value and worthiness of any other organization. These feelings bring me to a larger idea, and inner conflict, concerning the nature in which we fund non-profits.

    The competitive nature of this process is a reflection of the upsetting reality of the non-profit industrial complex (NPIC). According to an article published in the Columbia Social Work Review, the NPIC is the “system [that] forces nonprofits to professionalize, wherein they must focus on maintaining their funding sources rather than fulfilling their mission.” This laissez faire-based system of fighting for funds leads to resources being allocated towards marketing and administrative costs and away from programs that directly benefit the people. The sorrowful guilt we get in this process from pitting charity against charity is unnatural because we do not want to have to chose the worthiness of one group of people over another. It makes me constantly question the current system we have, and if this is really an ethical way to allocate funds. The NPIC reveals the harsh judgements we have to make that force us to value one cause over another. I wonder if non-profit funding can ever be truly just within the capitalist system is which it currently lays. I do not believe it can, and therefore this practice should end. While I understand that deciding on a charity is central to this class, this ongoing method of having to pick and chose is antithetical to the common non-profit mission of equality and impartiality. This curriculum was developed to help us decipher between different charities, but we need to question if this deciphering and deciding is really leading to the greatest potential benefit for society.

    Non-profits should not have to do all this battling for financing. The reason that people will be upset if their prefered charity is not chosen is because they understand how limited this funding is. We should not have to succumb to this uncomfortable behavior of deciding worthiness and value. We should not feel this competitiveness when considering various important causes, or this emotion of upsetness when our “least favorite” charity is chosen. Instead, we should try to abolish the NPIC and think of other, more egalitarian solution that will allow needs of the community can be met. That way, we can all be “Happy.”

    P.S. Thanks for the shoutout!

    http://www.racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/2010NPIndudtrialComplex.pdf

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  5. Hey Isabel!

    I really resonated with your blog post and this topic. My first biggest concern when the class began was realizing that we genuinely had to come from so many several different backgrounds and make a decision on 1 finalists out of 84. I did not know how we were going to take all our different backgrounds to make this come to fruition.

    I noticed it first in my smaller group before the original presentations that this may be a little bit more difficult than I thought. Sitting at a round table in the library, we made our own choices then sat down and went back and forth over who would’ve preferred one organization over the other. Debating here and there about a few of these organizations, because we all could not see eye to eye so well. Then after we presented we saw that not any of the organizations we debated about or fought for made it to the top 5 finalists. Noticing that was kind’ve frustrating, because I did believe in the few organizations that we had down, but I know I cannot be mad.

    There is a reason we have our top 5 and a reason they are the top 5. Not saying I disagree with these organizations that we have as our top 5, I definitely do not. However, it just is still a shocker how far we have come starting from the first weeks and how this process eventually turns out. Just accepting the fact that yeah, okay, maybe the organization that I wanted did not make top 5, but I am still making a difference somewhere. That is what matters to me overall. I am making a difference with a great organization in this area that I go to school in, which has become my home away from home.

    Thank you for sharing this!

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  6. Hi Isabel,

    As we get closer to our final decision, I think it's important to bring this up again. I really appreciate what you have to say about “head” over “heart”. I agree that one of the most important considerations has to be what is most helpful to this community. As we discussed in class today, most of us aren’t locals, so this home in Broome County is entirely new to us. We don’t always know exactly what the residents need, and that’s where our research comes in.

    One thing we disagreed upon in class today was whether our finalist decision should be more head or heart. As you detailed in your post, our initial decisions were a mix. Personally, I think I based more of my initial votes on the logical and factual side of the issues. I looked for what I thought would make the most impact. I think we can all agree that our five finalist organizations do a lot of good. They are all great and important places in the community. That’s why I suggested in class today that we consider our heart a little more.

    As with everything, I do feel this decision should be a balance between head and heart. And as much as I appreciate this metaphor, things aren’t always as black and white. What I do want to argue is that we shouldn’t get caught up in the semantics of what makes the largest impact for the most amount of people. While this may seem like a noble goal, as philanthropists, I don’t think we should be so caught up in seeing the immediate result of our donations. I think this is a common trap that larger philanthropists fall into as we have discussed. I hear a lot of people saying, for example, that our donation to HCA wouldn’t go as far because it is only a small portion of the larger goal. I strongly feel that this shouldn’t deter us. Just because we don’t see immediate results doesn’t mean our philanthropy is not meaningful. Rather than be caught up by the amount we have to give, think about what you would want to give to. It doesn’t matter if its more than they need or not enough- think about where you want our money to go. In this sense, I feel we should consider our heart. It’s not always a math problem; sometimes it can be about passion, and where we feel we can and want to help.

    --
    Becca

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